Why Do We Need Another Devotional

I am adding a devotional page to my blog.  Why do we need another devotional? I personally struggled for so long without anyone who, it seemed, understood my troubles or, more importantly, who was able to provide me with the kind of help I needed.

No Relief For the Wounded Soul

If your troubles are minor, it is not too hard to find help. There may be a shortage of good therapists, but they are available for a price. On the other hand, the answers I personally received from those who tried to help were never able to provide deliverance. It did not bring me deep and lasting relief. Rather, it seemed if there was any relief at all, it was a temporary stirring of a new and hopeful undertaking. It would take time to find out that the approach did not fix me, but at least it kept me going until the next proposed answer came along. All in all, however, life as a Christian was pretty darn miserable.

Eventually, I became a therapist. It took years of training, and I was very diligent in my study. I was studying for my clients and myself. Searching for real and lasting answers. I am pretty confident there was no stone overturned in my search. Sadly, even after decades of study, research, and practice, the solutions’ adequacy wanes very disappointing.

A Glimmer of Hope

Yet, there was one avenue, that provided me with a glimmer of real hope. That was the Bible Scriptures. The promises presented there were magnificent. I could see that if they could be actualized in my life that things would never be the same. It was a monumentally wise conclusion in this case.

Early in my Christian life, the Lord had trained me to go to Him and let Him speak to me through His word. This I always did. The result was that even though the road was dark and filled with many failures, day by day, the light from Christ began to expunge the darkness and distortions from my soul. Christ was feeding me on His brilliant, gracious, and redemptive words and building a foundation that would change my life forever.

His Voice

The things He spoke to me were ever deeper and more profound. Each year I would have to admit that year was the best yet. This, I might add, is true to this day. Yes, there were terrible disappointments and a seemingly endless string of trial and error. Even though He was speaking and I was listening, my darkness dampened His voice for many years.

I would hear His voice and then go away and forget what He had said. This was just as James had written (Jas. 1:23-24 NAS). I was a man who would look in the mirror He provided but then go away and immediately forget what I had seen. This was my unbelief. This was double-mindedness that lived in my soul. It seemed so foreign to me that anyone could ever really love me for who I was, as I was. Indeed, for many years I truly believed, at least at some level, that God hated me. Well, I agreed. I hated me also.

Empowering My Enemy

Spiritually speaking, in ignorance of the truth, I enabled the devil’s torments of my soul. Since, in a (perceived) necessity, I had placed so much hope in Jesus, I would blame God and become enraged whenever things went wrong.

For my journey, I had little human help, unlike the Apostles and their disciples. And since I was hard of hearing (from God) because of the deep darkness that engulfed and imprisoned my soul, I had great difficulty retaining His truth. This was especially so when great emotional hardships came my way. Amid the dark trial, I would consistently cave in to my worst assumptions and fears about God.

Yes, I was projecting my inner darkness upon Him; acting upon those projections meant I was blaspheming God. This fed the devil’s hand, and he would consistently up the ante. In other words, as I became more negative toward God (all lies of my own dark heart, of course), the enemy would turn up the heat by just making my situation worse and worse. The enemy achieved the desired result: I was ever more enraged at God. Because of those feelings, you can imagine how impossible it became for me to ask God for help. Pretty smart adversary.

Amazing Grace

I had a few things yet on my side, however. God’s unfathomable graciousness and a lack of adequate alternatives were game-changers. Since I had no one else to turn to, I kept returning to hear His word. It was incomprehensible to me that He never changed, no matter how terrible I was. He always was there to speak kindly words and encourage me through my terrible darkness. So I just kept returning, again and again, failure after failure. I was broken again and again. It was awful, and it was wonderful. His words would lift me into heaven, and I would see that He loved me. Though I wanted so much to die, I always had Him to go to. His love never failed me.

When you have serious problems or deep wounds, cheap answers just don’t cut it. Deep wounds don’t stop screaming in the soul. The voice is just too loud. It often drowns out that the positive voices, if any, are to be heard. And sometimes, we’re just not listening.

For Those That Need Strong Medicine

This is why I want to do a devotional for hurting people. It is because we all need someone who can help us reflect on our self-sabotage and challenge our lies. Someone who has been there and found the way out. – His way out!  I am very sad to say that the messages I received from all the sermons – well, most all – did little to help. They are funny and witty and hope-inspiring. They are entertaining, insightful, and sometimes even brilliant, but they didn’t have the medicine I needed for my wounds.

Modern psychology offered in Christian terminology provided shallow solutions. Compromised Christian messages did not have the power for transformation and deliverance needed for the deeply wounded.

We All Need Strong Medicine

This is not to say that these approaches are any more able to transform the individual that man deems psychologically “healthy.” Similarly, these solutions are inadequate to truly free the well-adjusted, socially competent individual – notwithstanding any underlying pathology that might attend to that person’s soul. On the other hand, the deeply wounded person isn’t very good at getting along on their own.

Jesus famously tells us that it is the “sick who need a physician. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” (Lk. 5:31-32) Most of us understand from Jesus’ words that He is not suggesting that some are so righteous that they don’t need the Great Physician. However, we seem to quickly forget the truths he speaks because of the darkness that resides in the natural mind.

We also often forget that those at the top of the social (and church) hierarchy in terms of position or status and presentation are equally sick according to Christ. We all live in the darkness and naturally elevate things that God despises. (Lk. 16:15)

 To Open the Windows of Heaven For Healing

So I will be writing this devotional because God has opened the windows of heaven and poured out answers to our soul’s troubles. He is able to save to the uttermost. We don’t need to wait until heaven for our lives to become an amazing testimony to His great love.

As we begin to see through our darkness and grow in seeing Him and His magnificent grace, we will realize that He is able and that “with God, all things are impossible.” (Matt. 19:26)