Are You Stuck? Sick and Tired of Trying to “Just Let Go”?

The Dilemma

“I just have to let go.” This phrase is the mantra of so many believers today. I often hear this statement or some variation of it from Christians. Interestingly, it is heard most frequently from those believers that are particularly passionate about their faith. In so speaking, they are identifying their problem, their struggle, and most importantly, their impasse. Does this describe you in some way? If so, please read on.

In this article, I would like to challenge the belief system often found behind this phrase and suggest a way to get unstuck for good.

A good place to begin is by asking ourselves whether the framework for change that the phrase implies, is an effective avenue to the goal of sanctification. If so, we must also consider why those who speak this way always seem to be somehow endlessly stuck there. Is it possible that this mantra/belief could be playing a role in keeping them stuck? I believe that this is so.

How “Let Go” Keeps People Stuck

Let’s examine the belief behind “I just need to let go” and see if it lines up with the truth that is in Scripture. From my observations, the paradigm behind the “let go” message is that our attachment to our wants is our real problem. One might articulate this thought as, “I keep returning to (this or that thing) which is not good for me. If I just can let go of it, then I can move on and live the life God wants me to live (i.e., be sanctified).”  So far so good. Well, maybe not.

It is certainly true that our problem is our desires and wants that occupy our minds and hearts. For example, we see this message in Jesus’ use of the metaphor of the “treasure of the heart,” “for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matt. 6:21  NAS) So we’re on solid ground, right? Not yet. Even though Scripture does testify that being stuck in our wants is our problem, what is the remedy that Scripture offers?

Man’s Solution

Before I answer that question, let’s look at the solution typically implied by the statement, “I just need to let go.” First, this statement infers that the responsibility for correction depends on something I must do. Therefore, I need to let go, to stop holding on to it. In other words, the solution is identified as a decision of the will – a choice. Just choose to do the right thing; very simple.

If this was true, why does it seem they never actually do it? If we were able to just do this we would feel much better about our Christian life and also have more of God’s blessings on our lives. Is this the same solution that Paul offered?

First, let’s look at what he did not suggest was the solution. Paul states, “For the willing to do good is in me, but the doing of the good is not.” (Rom. 7:18) In other words, Paul says He can not do good at all! Does this statement by Paul reflect how you understand sin? In my experience, most believers see sin as something they sometimes succeed at controlling with their willpower, but not frequently enough to ever be “enough,” so to speak.

The Solution

So is Paul telling us that we can’t do anything about this situation? Absolutely not! He is just telling us that by the (mere) exercise of our will, we are absolutely incapable of doing God’s will. This is a central tenant of the true Biblical message.

The other major tenant is that Christ has offered the world an escape from this terrible dilemma. The solution that the Father has given us in His Son changes everything.

God tells us (through Paul) that if we “walk according to the Spirit, we will not carry out the desires of the flesh.” (Gal. 5:16) Paul also writes,

 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who are in accord with the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are in accord with the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. (Rom. 8:2-5)

For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin. (Rom. 3:20 ESV)

But what does this phrase regarding setting the mind on the things of the Spirit really mean? More specifically, is it something different from the (mere) exercise of the will?

To answer this question, let’s look at some of the other verses in the passage. In verses 2 and 3, he tells us that Christ’s (substitutionary) death set us free from having to exert human effort against our (sinful) nature in keeping the law. “For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” Instead, he instructs us to “walk by faith” (Rom. 4:16) and “by the Spirit.” (Rom. 8:13-14) Even though these are just a few Biblical of many verses that address this issue, for the sake of brevity, I will not try to discuss other references.

One last point here. Earlier in Romans chapter 3, quoted above, Paul is referring to the “works” of the law. Hmm. Why this phrase? Well, what is “work” anyway? Basic physics tells us that work is the exertion of effort or energy. The Greek word here, is ergon. It is where we get the word ergonomics – methods for altering our surroundings to reduce fatigue damage.

So we can see that the exertion of human effort to attempt to fulfill God’s requirement can never succeed. This is because our wants cannot be the author of God’s kingdom. Our drives are corrupt by sin nature. His motives and power are perfect, incorruptible and supernatural. We cannot create the kingdom of God; only God can.

In Christ Alone

So what is Paul telling us in practical and concrete terms? He is saying that believing in Christ’s death allows us to qualify to inherit the kingdom of God, period; nothing added. We enter by hearing and believing the message of Christ’s offering for us. We “rest” in that (Heb. 4:3) we are relying solely on that message. We attend to that belief with our minds by placing our hope in Him.

Conversely, we cannot do it by exerting our will’s “efforts,” so to speak. Nor can we inherit the kingdom of God by trying to control our thoughts. Why? Because our thoughts do not have the power to save us from ourselves.

 Instead, we are receiving (i.e., from God) the message of the cross, relying on Him for our in-the-moment salvation. As we are receiving, we are also believing and confessing the truth before the face of God. (Rom. 10:8-11) Resting in this, we are waiting for Him to speak into the darkness in us. This, then, is the living revelation of Christ in our hearts, this implanted word. It is what is cleansing us from the rule and tyranny of self.

A Relationship from God to Us

This salvation, then, is a relational one. It is an interaction between God and us. But even more pointedly, it is God authoring relationship with us. We are waiting for and hoping only in His power to save as our rescue. Thus, apart from His actions and His response, there is no relationship, and, therefore, no salvation and no real Christianity.

In other words, we cannot afford to go without His evident, clear and tangible response. Paul sums this up by saying, “For we through the Spirit, by faith, are waiting for the hope of righteousness.” (Gal. 5:5 NAS – my italics)  The context is clear that this is not a waiting (only) for a heavenly inheritance of righteousness but a daily one.

 It is implied, for example, when Paul instructs, “Be angry, yet sin not, don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” (my italics) Since we have already established that the Scripture teaches that we are unable to clean ourselves of our sin, the implication is clear that God will address this daily if we are working out our salvation with Him – as in “fear and trembling.”

The Basis of our Confidence

Do we have reason to be confident that He will rescue us from ourselves? We must ask ourselves, is this not the reason He died for us? Has He not reconciled us in His blood? Has He not thereby justified us, offering us a gift of sanctification so that “sin will not prevail over us?” Has He not called us friends and welcomed us into His family?

 Moreover, does a true father ignore and neglect his own children? Why do we doubt His own words? “The one who believes in Me, as the Scripture says, out of His innermost being will flow rivers of living water.” (Jn. 7:38)

How We Often Fail Unnecessarily

So we pray for salvation from whatever this thing is that we hold on to, unable to release. But after praying a few times, most of us, not finding relief, simply give up and assume that sometime in the unknown future, maybe the answer will magically come.

Conversely, could it be possible that God was willing to answer us but that we just assumed He wouldn’t simply because He didn’t answer right away? Might their be a different result if we instead persist in our faith, waiting and listening?

Might it be that there is something important that is happening to us in this process? What is He showing us? He is exposing the futility of our chasing our own inclinations. We want our reward. We do not know how to operate from some other motive, that is, from Christ’s perfect motives.

Silly Monkeys!

I love the story of how the African Bushman catches monkeys. They dig a hole in a tree with an opening just big enough fit for a monkey’s empty hand. Then they put a piece of fruit inside the hole. The monkey will not let go of the fruit even as the hunters walk up and capture the animal. This is such a hilarious picture of our own relentlessly sinful nature. We want and we just can’t stop wanting it. Even to our destruction.

Do we recognize this truth, that God has instructed us that we are unable to rescue ourselves from ourselves? Is it not He who has welcomed us to come to Him, “Come to Me, all you that are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)

We want happiness, fulfillment, and the good life. We are determined to get it. We just can’t stop wanting what we want. Jesus wants us to recognize our condition, and confess our condition. Admit our powerlessness over the drives of our own wants.

True Liberty!

He is our deliverer. And what is that deliverance? It is to be washed clean of those things. We are thus sanctified (separated from self) so its power over us is broken. That is true liberty.

Then and only then, will then be able to inherit – as a gift – His righteousness. That is, we inherit Christ. He begins to inhabit us, our bodies and our souls. He comes to tabernacle in us. No longer just in our spirits but now also in our bodies and our souls.

Thus we receive the power to love unselfishly – to lay down our lives for His sake, and for the sake of the sheep. This is who He is. He is righteous and those that are (truly) abiding in Him will walk in the same manner that He walks.

He overcomes all things. So also will those in whom He is manifest in truth. As He is doing the will of His Father, so will we also, because His Spirit abides in us.

The Blessing of Waiting

If we wait for Him, will our waiting be wasted? In our waiting, we are learning to listen and believe. We are, therefore, “setting our minds on the things of the Spirit.” Since He has told us that He already purchased our salvation on the cross, we persist in actively waiting because we believe His word. He offers this guarantee: the one who “believes in Him shall not be disappointed.” In so doing, we are learning not to depend on ourselves but on His power to work “mightily within” us.

In simple terms, we might ask ourselves this question: where are we placing our hope and confidence? Is it in ourselves? If so, we have invested our hope in a fool. If, on the other hand, we place all our hope in Him, how can we fail? Will not our harvest overwhelm our expectations? Such a life will prove His faithfulness daily, so long as we do, indeed, continue to “hold fast our confession without wavering.” (Heb. 10:23)

We will be stuck no longer but will grow in faith and confidence in His incredible power to save!