Our wounds ravage our souls. Why does it seem that our emotional wounds are “incurable?” Our soul is distorted, and misshapen by our pain. We find little comfort. We have searched everywhere for answers! Why does God not answer?

Perhaps there is something deeper He desires us to understand about relationship with Him? Is it possible we are still holding on to all the control? We are still in the “driver’s seat,” as they say?

It is not the wound that distorts us. Oh yes, it does “trigger” us. But it is not what someone said or did that gives this injury power to harm. It is the power it has over us that distorts us. What is that power? Where does it get such power over us?

Could it be that we really haven’t “let go,” though we have tried so hard to let go?

Have you ever thought that maybe you lack the power (in yourself) to “let go”? You just want what you want, and you just want the pain to go away. Can a leopard change his spots? We are who we are.

What, then, is the remedy?

It is to rest. It is to repent of trying to control our pain instead of fighting it. It is taking our hands completely off of trying to fix ourselves, or otherwise escape. This is a completely non-intuitive response on our part. But to try to control our pain is a rejection of the cross. In trying to control our pain either by changing our circumstances, controlling our situation or other people’s behaviors, or even God, we lie to ourselves, believing falsely that we can cleanse ourselves from the darkness that rules us. It will never happen. We will wrestle with our pain, but it is always our master.

Why is this so? Our wants – even the most ancient from our past – imprison us. This is why the power cannot come from us. Jesus has made a way and it is the only way on earth or in heaven to obtain true freedom, freedom from the core of our being.

It is only the message of the cross, “the word of the cross” (1 Corinthians 1:18), that has the power to set us free; only the cross can cleanse a person from the wants to which they are enslaved. Man can never do this for himself. He just lies to himself. He pretends he is free.

This is precisely what Jesus is saying so explicitly in John 8. “If you continue in My word, then you are disciples of Mine and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. His light is life, and it is living. It transforms us and frees us from the power of our own darkness. It is glorious.

It is to wait only for the Lord. He will come to us, be it sometime in the night or in the new morning. He will have healing in His wings – He always does.

We are thus made new again and again.

Jesus goes on in John 8 and explains to those Jews who foolishly claim that they are the sons of Abraham and have “never been the slaves of anyone” that anyone who commits a sin is a slave of sin.” Such profound words have never before been spoken in the ears of man. How could this man, who fulfilled impossible prophecies so many centuries ago, and at the only possible time they could be fulfilled (See Daniel 9, for example), have come up with the most profound words ever to come to human ears?

Oh, but then the finish, “but if the Son has set you free, you will be free indeed.” So glorious! Yes, I have felt, touched, and been made new again and again by this life. We live from death to life. From the grave to my daily resurrection. Just as the grave could not keep Him, how surprised is my always unbelieving heart when He comes and raises me up anew once again – and that without failure – ever!

Yes, it is “free indeed!” The word magic is surpassed here. Yes, it is magical, but it is also glorious and real beyond our wildest imaginations. “Exceedingly, abundantly, above all we could ask or think,” is how Paul the apostle described it.

Oh, Christian. Why do we continue to wrestle with ourselves in such futility, which always ends in our disappointment and, ironically, in anger toward God? We are clinging desperately to our own lives, and in “seeking to save” them, we keep “losing” them. Has He not told us again and again? Why do we not simply believe His words?

Still, His grace persists, patiently waiting for us to awake from our folly to bask in His love.

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