If you are seriously thinking about suicide, then I am pretty sure there are some things that you need to know. There is a much better way to end your suffering than suicide.
Feelings Do Not Always Tell the Truth
Perhaps you have completely lost hope of ever finding a way out of your suffering. Or, you might be assuming that no one cares about you. Maybe you have come to believe that your life doesn’t matter or even that your loved ones would somehow be better off without you. Sometimes we feel life is too hard and we just can’t go on.
I want to assure you these conclusions are false.
When we feel deeply depressed, demoralized or hopeless, we often come to such conclusions because our mood state has clouded our eyes. We may feel worthless and believe our lives matter to no one.
The reality is that our lives matter a great deal to others. Some may have rejected, abandoned, or neglected us, but most often, the truth is they are just preoccupied with their own needs and concerns.
A Great Paradox
I have often noted that there is a strange paradox to suicide. Sometimes suicidal wishes arise in us because we are very angry at the failure of our loved ones to love us adequately. Our wish is to punish them.
The paradox is – and it is an irony indeed – the loved ones that really don’t love, need or care about us, are the ones least affected by our death. On the other hand, it is the ones who need us the most, and/or care for us the most are the ones that are most significantly harmed by our act.
It should be noted that we are often not even aware of how much we matter to them. People aren’t often good at communicating their deepest feelings.
The Most Devastating Wound
What’s more, the loss of a loved one in this way has a kind of haunting effect. One can never correct any wrong they suppose they might have done or any failure to act, that might have contributed to the death.
Sadly, the most sensitive of them will never stop questioning themselves, “if only I could or would have done this or that, it might not have happened.” It is true cruelty, and it is reserved for the very ones that deserve it the least. The effects often reverberate for the remainder of their lives. Few of these completely recover; some are devastated for life.
It Really Really Does Matter
We fail to realize how much our hanging on for others really matters. We forget or are blind to the fact that we are all in this together. Whatever failures our loved ones have had toward us, there is always the potential for redemption if we are still alive. This is why we must continue the fight, take courage and seek God for a better way.
Fortunately, regardless of how demoralized you may be, God is able to change things and make them surprisingly work out. He wants to help us find that road of redemption.
Mapping the Road to Redemption
Having laid this foundation, I would like to unfold the map of that road of redemption. It is a worthy road to walk. It is a purpose for living all in itself – that is, to not let others down. We may not have the strength in ourselves to make it, but God has a secret for us that will enable us.
That secret is the mystery of grace that Christ brought to us all. Those that discover it have discovered the greatest riches that life could ever offer.
An Unlikely Hero
If you are familiar with the Bible stories, it is a universal principle of Scripture that the most glorious salvation always comes to the ones who had lost all hope. It is to those whose story appeared to be one of sorry and loss.
They were outcasts, falsely imprisoned, barren, prostitutes, nobodies, men paralyzed with fear, men who had profoundly failed, weak, hopeless, and broken men and women.
There was only one thing they had. They set themselves to go to God, relentlessly determined to hope in His salvation and mercy for them. That process led them through hardships but with great purpose. He refined them to His glory, and what a glory it is.
My Story
For many years I wanted to die nearly every day. I would comfort myself by asking God to please kill me. I was trying to be a good Christian but I was doing a terrible job of it. I also had so much inner emotional pain that I was hardly able to function in life. I felt constantly hurt inadequate and unvalued by others. It was not a pretty picture. Perhaps you experience some of these things.
Why did I not just kill myself? I knew how much it would harm and demoralize others, especially my family. I did not feel particularly loved by them but I knew it would really crush them. For most people, it is the most dreaded thing for a friend or loved one to do.
I also did not do it because I believed in a life after this life. I was not willing to risk facing the eternal judgment of God. It seemed to me that suicide is something you can never repent of doing. A fool’s bargain, indeed.
A Truly Needless Act
I believe that everyone who commits suicide does so needlessly. Needlessly, because the reasons for considering it (including but not limited to those identified above) are based on false assumptions. What are these false assumptions?
Built on False Assumptions
The false beliefs are as follows.
1. There is no God.
2. God doesn’t really care about me or love me.
3. God is a cruel taskmaster.
4. I am just such a hopeless loser that there could never be an answer that would work for me.
5. God hates me.
6. I will never get what I feel I must have to be happy in life.
7. God does not have a better solution for me that is available other than to just continue somehow to hang on indefinitely.
8. If God does have an answer, it is so difficult a road that I could never make it. without a reasonable, easily attainable one for me.
Do one or more of these reasons fit? Highly likely.
Answers
1. There is no God.
The Bible says that “the “fool says in his heart that there is no God.” We can see from the world around us the magnificence of God’s incomprehensible brilliant design. Just look at the beauty of His natural creation apart from the fruit of man’s folly!
Beyond that, He has left a witness of His existence all through the history of man. Even back in the ancient days, God has given His testimony of the promise of salvation to man, and He has kept His word. He has told us what was to come and always fufilled the promise.
There are so many examples of this I cannot explicate them here, but I suggest you consider looking at some of the links on my reference page. I will just say one here. Look at the prophecy of Christ’s appearing in Isaiah 53 and also the very dating to the Messiah’s appearing in Daniel 9. Messiah had to come during the exact time He did, or it would have been too late.
Finally, God will show anyone who sincerely humbles themself in brokenness before Him and offers their life to Him if He will reveal Himself to them. Jesus says, “Whoever comes to Me I will in no way cast out.” (John 6:37). Also, He says, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.” (John 7:37).
2. God doesn’t really care about me or love me.
This one is easy. Jesus took our punishment so that we would be able to inherit the kingdom of God as a gift based upon His righteousness alone. “…and He Himself bore our sins on His body on the cross that we might die to sin and live to righteousness, for by His wounds you were healed.” (1 Peter 2:24). Jesus also tells us that he who seeks, (asks,knocks) – and keeps on seeking- will find. (Matt. 7:8). So if you determine to ask God to show you His love and keep on asking, He will most certainly, in due time, answer you!
3. God is a cruel taskmaster and allows us to be burdened beyond what we can reasonably manage.
Christians often say that God will not give us more than we can handle. Unfortunately, they do not explain that the devil can and will give us more than we can take. Fortunately, however, God has absolutely guaranteed us that once we learn to rest in Christ’s atonement for us, the enemy becomes unable to give us more than we can handle because the grace of God will rule the day for us.
The problem for many believers is that the church is not teaching these things, so most Christians are ignorant of the devil’s devices and the flawlessness of God’s grace. This, my dear friend, is a lesson that can be learned immediately, and you can begin to win the battles with (more or less) ease. I’d like you to read this website and help you develop the tools and necessary understanding.
Moreover, you may have an internalized cruel taskmaster – perhaps because you were abused as a child or for some other reason. Jesus can cleanse you of your (old) self that is warring against your soul. You will realize that as He does, He graciously pours a magnificent new life into you to replace it. You can learn to walk free daily. Again, read this blog – it can help you learn how to do this!
4. I am just such a hopeless loser that there could never be an answer that would work for me.
My dear friend, Jesus specializes in fixing losers! I am a perfect example. Few people I know had the level of failure, self-sabotage, and self-hate I had. If He can help me, I am sure He can help you; believe me!
I can’t go into detail, but I’m hoping you can trust me on this one. He will make you a glory to His name, and you will dance on the mountains of spices because of His great love and power in your life!
5. God hates me.
This is a good one. You may think He has good things for others but not for you. You probably internalized that message somewhere along the way. It is the devil’s trick.
You probably know it doesn’t fit with the concept of a God of love who died for us all, but in your gut, it just feels like that. Anytime things go wrong – and I’ll bet they go awry a lot (been there!!!) – that feeling returns. You can’t seem to shake it.
The answer to this is to take us a little deeper. It will require a deep dive into our souls. Jesus is equipped to enable you to walk with Him on a journey of overcoming daily challenges. This will require a deepening understanding of resting in Christ and being cleansed from the self.
It is in the self that this deep (self-)hate lies (along with all other elements of psychopathology). This journey, however, is a road of victory. By the way, I do not care how many counselors you have seen and how many times you have been disappointed. You can learn how to build on a foundation which never fails and cannot be shaken.
6. . I will never get what I feel I must have to be happy in life.
What is it that you think you have to have to be happy? Would you be happy if God had the power to make you content in whatever situation you are in? Well, this is precisely what is guaranteed to those that leave all behind to follow Him.
Even more than this is the revealing of His love in your heart. There is nothing on earth to compare. And these things are yours to keep, You do not have to earn them, and no one can take them from you! They are entirely independent of your circumstances. This is how it is for those who enter into real relationships with Christ. So many speak of it, but few truly enter it, yet it is freely available to all.
7. God does not have a better solution for me that is available other than to continue somehow to hang on indefinitely.
I already mostly answered this. Hanging on is not God’s plan. As you understand Christ’s grace, you will realize that authentic New Testament Christianity – contrary to most Christian’s experiences – is characterized by daily success in the internal battle with self. This inner experience of success is not suppression of one’s needs but liberty, by the power of God, from the tyranny of our wants and from slavery to others. It is neither denial nor a self-manufactured change; the change comes alive from God every day, renewed with joy!
8. If God does have an answer, it is so difficult a road that I could never make it. There is no reasonable, easily attainable answer for me.
Again, I have already answered this question, but I will summarize by saying that Jesus says, “Come to Me all you that are weary and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of Me for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your soul; for My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” ‘Nuff said.
For more see this post
