What is Real Obedience? My Folly – My Search for Legacy, for My Own Glory
In the night, my sickness persists. I try to stay warm – to preserve my life – but somehow, I end up uncovered and cold in the morning, and I feel the weakening of my body. Why Lord? Why do you not protect me?
Then I understood that I must not try to fight to save my life, for if I do, I will “lose” it. But what a dilemma! I can’t really stop myself from seeking to preserve my life. Perhaps the paradox of saving and losing our lives shows us the foolishness of even trying not to save ourselves so that we can save ourselves. In other words, I am still trying to save my life no matter what I do.
Wisdom comes. I see that I need to wait for Him to speak to this darkness in me. I cannot cleanse myself from my folly. His voice soon comes and reveals the secret mysteries of my heart.
I seek to save my own life because of my own wants. I am a thief. I want.
What do I want? I do not want to die. Why? I want to have a legacy. I want to accomplish something “significant.” This, too, is folly! “I desire obedience rather than sacrifice.”
Which is better, doing some grand thing for God for my own glory or living in simple obedience to Him? If obedience to Him in this moment is letting go of my life because He is calling me home, why would I fight that? Hanging on to my own wish for glory rather than simply doing His will.
Therefore, when He comes into the world, He says,
“SACRIFICE AND OFFERING YOU HAVE NOT DESIRED,
BUTA BODY YOU HAVE PREPARED FOR ME;
IN WHOLE BURNT OFFERINGS AND sacrifices FOR SIN YOU HAVE TAKEN NO PLEASURE.
“THEN I SAID, ‘BEHOLD, I HAVE COME
(INTHE SCROLL OF THE BOOK IT IS WRITTEN OF ME)
TO DO YOUR WILL, O GOD.’”
After saying above, “SACRIFICES AND OFFERINGS ANDWHOLE BURNT OFFERINGS AND sacrifices FOR SIN YOU HAVE NOT DESIRED, NOR HAVE YOU TAKEN PLEASURE in them” (which are offered according to the Law), then He said, “BEHOLD, I HAVE COME TO DO YOUR WILL.” He takes away the first in order to establish the second. By this will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.
Every priest stands daily ministering and offering time after time the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins; but He, having offered one sacrifice for sins for all time, SAT DOWN AT THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD, waiting from that time onward UNTIL HISENEMIES BE MADE A FOOTSTOOL FOR HIS FEET. For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified. And the Holy Spirit also testifies to us; for after saying,
“THIS IS THE COVENANT THAT I WILL MAKE WITH THEM
AFTER THOSE DAYS, SAYS THE LORD:
I WILL PUT MY LAWS UPON THEIR HEART,
AND ON THEIR MIND I WILL WRITE THEM,”
He then says,
“AND THEIR SINS AND THEIR LAWLESS DEEDS
I WILL REMEMBER NO MORE.”
Now where there is forgiveness of these things, there is no longer any offering for sin. Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; (Hebrews 10:5-23, NASB1995).
It is idolatry. My god is the image of my own glory rather than the glory of the only one worthy of glory: He who made all things sustains all things by the word of His power. All good things come from Him and will for all eternity. Honoring lies about ourselves is death.
So, I find rest and relief in Him. I do not need to do anything other than what He ordains and enables me to do. Beyond that, there is just idolatry and the kingdom of self. There is only one God, and all other kingdoms will be destroyed. He is the author of all things, and we are His subjects. What wonder, glory, and beauty is not found in what He provides in love for us?
Peace has returned to my heart, and my fellowship with Him is restored. This morning, I am content to live for Him in simple obedience or to die for Him from that same grace. Praise be to the only One who is able to save sinners, and what a glorious salvation He provides!
